It has been said that in order to experience pleasure a person has to know pain; just as a person blind from birth cannot understand the concept of darkness because he has never seen light. Problems arise when seeking pleasure and avoiding pain.
I once heard heard it said or I read it somewhere, “When in pain don’t look for relief, look for the truth.” It took me a long time to understand that, but if I am in pain or suffering from some misfortune I ask myself why? Was it some negative thought I had or something I did, or did I come in contact with someone who sent negative thoughts my way?
The way I deal with negative or bad thoughts coming from somewhere else is to tell myself that any such thoughts or negative energy will be turned around and sent right back to the source. That way I am not compounding the problem by sending out negative thoughts myself.
On seeking pleasure, if happiness is dependent on finding a relationship with someone or finding a new job or a new car; chances are it will elude you. Choose happiness first and everything else will follow.